Aging… I have been fighting it for years. Been coloring the gray for about 20 years and have been blessed with very little wrinkles. I had beautiful skin tone until about 3 years ago when I started noticing my cute freckles around my eyes and nose decided to begin merging into large colonies of discoloration. I have the curse of after 30 acne that has led many to believe I am much younger then I am and I know I certainly don’t act of feel like what my perception of being in my 40’s means. I often get shocked looks when I tell people I have 2 children over 20 and then they wonder how that is possible if I am only in my 30’s. They are so kind and I feed off that as my proof that I am not in fact over 40.
Recently due to a bad home coloring choice that made my hair nearly black, instead of my lovely chocolate brown, I am having to grow out all this dark color. Since it is so dark the grey that is growing out is very pronounced. For years I cringed and did whatever I could to hide it, even if that was to hide in my apartment. Today when I looked in the mirror I saw something I wasn’t expecting: I liked the look of the grey. I don’t know if it is the stark contrast of the silvery tones against the nearly black hair, but something about it felt (dare I say) good, empowering even.
Sure I am not where I pictured I would be at 40 something, and yet I am glad. I am glad that life took me up and down every hill and took every turn with G-force speeds. It was a crazy rollercoaster of a time so far and I am sure there are more twists and turns to come. If I hadn’t taken the ride I had than I would never have become who I am today: acne, bad hair color, age spotted and elegant in my own way. I would not wear the badge of survival that the grey hair gives me if I got off the ride earlier. I certainly would not have be as worldly and well-rounded as I am today if I got off too soon. I would not have the amazing children and friends that I have if I choose to stop the ride earlier.
So with all that being said, I am thinking about going the route of Ali McGraw, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Meryl Streep and just let the grey go. I mean what is the worst that can happen, someone thinks I am my age and have life experience? I think I am ok with that.