I have avoided talking about it for months, at least in any specific terms. It was just too painful. Being on the opposite side of the world from your love. I tried to push the memories away but they keep coming back haunting my dreams. I didn’t want to think about it, much less talk about it. I mean not like it would bring us back together. But people kept asking me about it and asking me about what happened. Even 6 months removed and I still am brought to tears when I talk about it. I need to move on and focus on the great memories we had. I need to heal and share the beauty that was. I am not talking about a man…I am referring to china, specifically Kaifeng.

Taken at Iron Pagoda Park
Taken at Iron Pagoda Park

This is not easy for me. Writing about my trip is like dancing in a minefield. I never know what will set me off or cause emotional explosions.

Don’t get me wrong I LOVED my trip, but when I talk about it I often break down in tears because of the huge emotional connection to the time there. The trip was so much more then about me learning Chinese, it was about me learning about myself.

So bare with me as I work through all the feelings about going, staying and returning. They are very intense. Some posts maybe light an airy but others maybe deep and even dark at times.

I just know that if I continue to hold all of this inside I will burst and not in a good way. It is time to heal and learn from this and share what was a dream come true.