These Shoes Weren’t Made for Walkin’ (aka the seven signs I should have said no)
Shannon Anicas
6/25/08

My adventure today was to do errands for my boss. Simple enough. She said to park at the High Street garage and that one place was caddy corner to it and the other was just about a block down the street.

Being that Downtown Akron is not that big I thought nothing about the fact I was wearing brand new beige strappy sandals with my brown and beige cotton dress and its matching beige crop jacket. I figured it would be minor walking, I need the exercise and it gives me an excuse to leave the office since I had a very present head ache.

I park the car in the garage that she mentioned. I have used this garage before to go to our enormous library, but that parking was in the well-lit and elevator friendly area. Where I had to park was dark and scary. This should have been sign numero uno that I was about to have an adventure. Next, in order to make it up to street level, I had to walk up three flights of stairs that stunk worse than my cat box. Sign 2.

I get to the street level and look around for the bank that she wanted me to visit first. Not too far ½ a block maybe. Once I head in that direction I notice they are tearing out the sidewalks and I have to wobble through gravel in my strappy sandals in order to cross the street. Sign 3.

Before I walked in the bank I took a quick look around for the next bank I was to make the deposits in. I looked everywhere and no xxx bank in sight. I figured I could ask the teller inside where it was. Sign 4.

I made the transaction and proceeded to ask the teller where the bank was located. She pointed down the street, past the giant library, and the parking deck and the bus station. Oh boy, sign number 5.

As I recross the street through the gravel, I notice the sign for the bank ahead. It is really far from my vantage point, but I walk on. Past the loitering teens smoking who knows what, past the large RTA bus station and its large crowd of pick pockets and average citizens waiting to go some place else and 2 city blocks (3 times as large as the country blocks I am used to) and 5 urine soaked vagrants later, I am at the other bank. I did my deed and headed back. Sign 6.

This time I thought I would be smart and walk through the library to the garage so that I would a) run into fewer urine smells, and 2) be in the air-conditioning. I made my way through the library and to the garage the way I normally do when visiting the library. When I get into the garage it doesn’t look anything like where I parked. I assumed that I should have gone down a floor, which I did. I pushed my key fob so that I could find my car by sound. Nothing. I started walking to the opposite end of the garage and still pushing the button. At the middle of said garage, while still pushing the button I hear my car alarm go off. Success! Or so I think.

I walk all the way over to the other end and no car. I push the button again and nothing. ??? WTF??? I walk back about half way and try the alarm again. *BEEP BEEP BEEP* ok so where is my car. I walk down another urine soaked stair well to the next level down and nothing, no car. WTFHCWRUC? (I’ll explain later)!!!???!?!?! So I walk all the way up past the lst floor I was on and there is my car. Sign 7.

So seven signs, sweaty pits and two feet in pain later I am on my way back to work. Head ache intact.

I should have just said no.