Me and my irrational fears.

As anyone that has known me for any length of time can attest to: I have lots of irrational fears. I am sure this is because my mother before me had them and like a bad cold, I caught them.

Well, today I had the biggest scare of my rather boring summer…let me set the scene…

I am reading unauthorized emails on my myspace page when I am supposed to be working. I read one about 9/11 and watch its video. Still not ready to be productive, I chose another 9/11 video from the list and proceed to watch. It is one made of a 911 call with a man trapped on the 105th floor of the north tower. He is coughing and screaming for help. The call goes on for several minutes as the operator is trying to calm him and relay his message to fire fighters on radios in the stairwells below him. You can hear the 3 in conversations of fear and panic. Then you hear a rumble, a scream then silence. The video set side-by-side with it is the building collapsing. I release a tear, shut down the player and go try to be productive despite the sadness and the insane noise from the floor below us that is coming from the drills and saws of construction.

Not 2 minutes later the fire alarms go off. My first thought was, “Oh shit.” My second thought was, “we’re all gonna die!”

I grabbed my stuff and acted like a dog trying to lay down for night-back and forth back in forth wondering if it were real or not. Everyone came out of their offices and cubes rather calmly. I pretended I was. We left and headed to the stairwell. It seemed like hundreds of people were in the stairwell with me. As I started down the 3 flights of steps, my adrenaline kicked in. I was moving faster than my brain was realizing and before I knew it we were on the ground and headed outside.

It was a fire drill.

After we all get back inside I decide to call my husband and tell him about my heart attack. And explained it as seen above.

He said, “you are on the 3rd floor of a 5 story building with only maybe a hundred people in the whole thing. Are you sure there were hundreds of thousands of people in the stairs?”

“Yes! I am certain! You know I am afraid of dying in fires, going down stairs, heights…”

“I know, bridges, water, am I leaving anything out?” He chuckles

“No, just put me in a box in the corner and I will live there.” I am still shaking from the whole ordeal thinking that it is the best idea I have had all years.

“I can’t, you’re claustrophobic.”

“Oh, yeah right.”

I laugh so hard I nearly pee myself.