Ok, ok I admit I am a klutz but today was the worst yet. You see I started a new job (which I love!!!) at a local hospital working as a medical assistant in a women’s health center. I have been there a week tomorrow…anyhoo…I was in a great mood this morning and decided to take the stairs down to our basement office sitting the need for exercise and the fact they are going down thereby attempting to eliminate the heart attack induced by going up stairs…but again I digress…as I took the first step I smiled at a lady going up. The next step…was a doozy as they say in cartoons. I lost my footing because my horribly weak ankle gave out. I went to grab the rail and the momentum of my fat ass falling was stronger than my grip on the rail I proceeded to fall…the entire flight of stairs…hitting each and everyone for good measure on the way down….now utterly mortified of my idiot self I am more worried about saving face that the nice lady I smiled at came to help me get up…I brushed myself off and hobbled to work. Once there I proceeded to sob like a big baby. The girls in my office rushed to see what was wrong I told them I was a doofus and fell no big deal my shin was all that was sore (at the time) and they gave me ice and tried to talk me into going to the ER to get checked out. I moved all the joints and said it wasn’t broken and I’d be fine with some Motrin.

I was wearing those lovely white support hose that nurses wear to help with tired legs (which by the way work marvelously) and couldn’t really see the extent of any injury. I sucked it up, I was new so I had to save face…and today turned out to be busy…very busy. I was running up and down the halls well more like hobbled up and down the halls like a mad woman…I popped some more Motrin around lunch still mortified that I fell and pressed on…by 3 pm I started getting a stiff neck, so I finally took their advice and sat for the last hour and a half of my shift…during that time security shows up to do an incident report adding to my shame of being a goober and falling down a flight of stairs….by the time it was 430 and time for us to leave I couldn’t stand up. I sheepishly asked my brand new bosses where I should go since my insurance hasn’t kicked in and they let me know don’t worry it is workers comp I can go straight over to the ER.

I hobbled in to the main hospital and into ER…everyone one that I talked to felt so bad about not only that I fell down but that I worked the entire day never complaining and was just now getting help…so much pity they fast tracked me (if 3 hours is fast) into a bed and to a doctor…mind you I still haven’t seen the extent of the damage because of the tights…I get undressed very slowly because by now I can not move my left side (side of impact) I lay back down and look at my left leg and it looks like I had a baseball bat taken to it…I start sobbing…I can’t get in a comfortable position because I must have hit my tail bone and my hip on the way down…then I lightly brush my elbow on the bed and it feels like I have been stabbed….my the time the doctor comes in I look as bad as I feel. She checks me out and I have nothing broken….But I have managed to bruise my entire left side from neck near my jaw line down my left shoulder over my shoulder blade my whole left arm, my left side, hip and tail bone, down my leg and even my foot is black and blue…on the right side, I have misc. bruising from trying to stop the fall. My left hand is swollen and bruised as well. They gave me some Vicodin and were about to discharge me home with a day off tomorrow when I realize my car is 6 blocks away in the employee lot and I am alone…crap…the very sweet and former marine security guard took pity on me and drove me to my car. I drug myself into my car and got home having to lift my leg to get out of the car. I sent my hubby on a Vicodin filling quest and I laid down. Only now, 5 hours and many Vicodin later, I am able to sit up. Which is why I am dropping a quick note because before too long the meds will wear off and I will be bedridden again. I am going to try to

They gave me some Vicodin and were about to discharge me home with a day off tomorrow when I realize my car is 6 blocks away in the employee lot and I am alone…crap…the very sweet and former marine security guard took pity on me and drove me to my car. I drug myself into my car and got home having to lift my leg to get out of the car. I sent my hubby on a Vicodin filling quest and I laid down. Only now, 5 hours and many Vicodin later, I am able to sit up. Which is why I am dropping a quick note because before too long the meds will wear off and I will be bedridden again. I am going to try to go to work tomorrow…I have been promised a desk job for the next few days if I want to come in, but if not that is cool too…they wnat me better not worse. So I am planning on going in, but I have a bad feeling this is going to be more painful in the morning …anyhoo…talk to everyone soon…
your friendly neighborhood klutz